Introvertual

I recall at a very early time, a very early age that I was, to put it mildly, different.

I'm a weird looking dude, and I was a weirder looking dude in my youth.

Growing up, we lived in a neighborhood that had some children in it, but not as many as one would thing, and certainly none within the immediate vicinity of our house.

My childhood was largely a solitary one. I have a sister, but like me, she was sent off to leave the parental units alone as they toiled around in the yard, or at who knows what.

She escaped in books, I escaped in my noggin and in the telly.

I'm not sure which of us fared better with those given philosophies.

In any case, I learned to keep myself entertained and I learned to pass time when there was seemingly nothing going on (much like the shithole that is the US Senate).

So, very early in grade school it was made aware to me that I had issues. I was different. It is very evident that picking on a child is not the only way to hurt them and essentially ignore them in a classroom.

I was largely ignored and if not ignored, I was given pot-shots of the first grade variety. It was during the next three years (1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade) that while I succeeded academically, I was getting the clear message from my peers that I was not okay to them.

Finally, by the 5th grade I had generally sunk into my invisible shield that had very few layers compared to now, but I was awaiting a chance to get out and be thyself.

I thought a new school, a bigger school, would bring a chance the next year. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, how daft I was.

Even as I walked into the new school eager to make new friends, and see new people, my dumb ass somehow didn't realize that the old kids that ignored me would ALSO be there and they would deliver the book on your's truly.

My grades went from A's to C's and even a few D's, which infuriated my parentals more than I could imagine. It infuriated them so, I lost the telly for a solid 2 years from what I can recall. They lack the understanding that it wasn't the tv that was causing my shitty grades, it was all the other extra crap.

Between 6th-8th grade I think most of us flounder about, just searching for the end to the madness of those years, I was not alone in that regard. The only fight I ever got into, that I started, came during those years. (Still wish I'd hit the fucker harder).

I went insular in a big way early on and every day was just an exercise in survival emotionally, physically, and mentally.

As high school approached, I again got eager, tho after my first experience I was less-so, to go into this new place where there would be tons of kids. I went to a massive high school, and I thought I would find safety and like-mindedness in even bigger numbers.

I joined clubs, I tried special things, and it all just continued to flop on top of me. I was awkward, I was odd, I didn't talk a lot (still don't).

It was these key years of my little existence that made me the introvert that I am, of this I have no doubt. This was more of a nurture over nature thing. I am on the verge of considering a new resolution this year now that I am no longer sick.

There will be no breaking of this introversion spell, it will be perpetual.

It is seared in, it is locked tight within me. I don't apologize for it, but I find so many don't get it, and they think I am a gigantic asshole (which, I am not...usually) because I don't do certain social courtesies because I find them abhorrent, nauseating, redundant, and just plain stupid.

I am unsure what the essential point of this post was, if there was one, but I finally did magically, somehow meet a few close friends who I now live NOWHERE near. I see them rarely, and we all now have separate lives.

I cling to them, and I fear the day when they go *poof* on me due to marriage and/or rugrats (we are at that age...blech).

I don't even talk to them much, as I don't have much to say, but they are there.

I am contend to go through the rest of my odd life alone and by myself, I now GET it. I am a rodeo clown with no rodeo (I have NO clue what that means, just sounds fantastic at this moment!).

But, here's to hope?

Day 6-7 - The Air Moves

So, day 6 begins we me fully awake at 7am and having listened to a ton of television over the night about P90X fitness training system with Tony Horton (whoever the fuck that is) and the Hair Cuttery ad that would haunt my memory thereafter for months on end.

I remember being awake for a while until my mother and her dude came into the room to see how things were going. And while I was totally pumped that I was awake allnight, she didn't seem to warm to that too well.

I also met my daytime nurse who had the same name as my sister, different spelling (as always). She seemed very energetic and nice, and things went well from here.

Late in the morning the doctor came by who I had originally met at this hospital and he noted how well I looked, and then got to a bit of discussion with my mother. Okay, my mother got into a discussion with him.

All I kept hearing from my not-so-cheapo seat was Heparin this, Heparin that. Apparently there was some controversy as to whether this particular drug that was administered to my small frame was an underlying cause of the problems that led to surgery number 2.

Eventually I was briefed of sorts on the problem, and filed that nugget away for a later time when I could ask the person I really wanted to ask about it: The Surgeon.

Then about early afternoon, I was informed that I'd be getting to move out of the ICU and back to the floor I originated from. Obviously, I took this as a good sign.

Before being moved, however, I was given an air ride. I giggled as I was hoisted completely in the air by this harness thing, and they eventually plunked me down in a big easy chair. It was firm but comfy, and it felt good to move even though I did little work. Eventually, they got the chair turned around so I could see outside the ICU window, and while it was a cold, rainy, day...it looked pretty damn good from the seat I was in.

I was in the chair for maybe a half an hour before the call came that my ass needed to get back into bed, because the movers were here. That was a stinker of a moment.

Before moving to this new floor, my mother felt the need to leave. So, off she went with the dude.

One flip of the switch and back I was, up suspended completely in the air, only to be landed back in the bed. Soon I was off to my new floor and new room.

My old room on the floor was occupied at the time by some two-bit harlet from Vegas. Errr...okay, I don't remember who was in my old room on the floor. I had my own room and it was good-sized.

After settling in and meeting some of the folk who would take care of me, I drank some juice and started watching the sports shows I usually watched.

After that move and all the action of the day, I was whipped. I made it through the pre-game crap (which, I normally don't watch - that's dinner time), I only made it through a few innings before my eyes finally listened to my body and I went to sleep.

Day 7 was a very quiet and quick day. I don't remember much of this day other than possibly talking to my sister on the telly, which it was great to finally hear from her. I was saddened that she didn't make it for the immaculate non-conception, but she has a job and a shit of a boss...so, what can you do, eh?

This was a Thursday, and I was nearly 1 week out from my first surgery. The following 7 days would, quite possibly, turn out to be some of the worst days of my life.

Day 8 will begin around 7:30am and an announcement from my mother that I immediately deemed incredulous.

Day 5 - The Awakening

In the course of human existence there are many feelings that are not great to experience: People dying in your family/loved ones, pets dying, getting busted for committing a crime (raises hand), and then there’s the following…

Day 5 starts around 7am with me finally reaching relative consciousness. The very first thing I remember seeing was the nurses desk, directly in front of my temporary room. What I didn’t see? My mother.

If you know me, you know I have a limited vocabulary, especially when peeved…my immediate thought (I still had a tube down my throat so verbalizing wasn’t a possibility) was simply: “Where the fuck is she?” I clearly remember it was between 7-7:30am.

I had no clue where exactly I was considering when I hopped on the gurney on Friday morning, I was in a different room, and clearly on a different floor. I knew this because after walking the entirety of the original floor I was on before I was allowed to sign-off on a surgical procedure, I knew that place like the back of my hand.

So, there I was at 7:30am, hooked up to every tube imaginable, in a strange room, on a strange floor, without seeing my mother. Brilliant. No television audio on either. Bollocks!

I watched this mindless television program and did some clock-watching, and at 9:17 (yes, I kept track) I saw someone who resembled my mother walk into the doorway. Me thinks someone had some breakfast. Sons a bitches…

But, I was glad to see her. And I was eager to get my shit together and my recovery underway. Soon after that my aunt came in to visit as well.

After it was deemed that I was conscious and I had a tube removed from my throat. Not the prettiest thing you would imagine, but not thee worst thing during my three-week stay. Then again, those lovely pain medications were pumped so high in the ICU that I could’ve probably been hit by a Mack Truck and not felt it.

During the course of the morning and the afternoon, I was beginning to get a tale and some shadowy details of:

1. Why I was in the ICU: Just one day prior I had an emergency second surgery, to which I was blissfully unaware. I remember being told this by my mother and saying one word: “Oh.”


2. Why it was 4 days after I first went under the knife and I didn’t remember ANY of the previous 3: Many, many sexy drugs.

3. And some hilarious details on when I took a phone call: This apparently happened before I became conscious-conscious, but there must have been a time I was awake enough to have the feeding tube taken out and accept a telephone call. I remember NONE of this and the person I talked to reported later to me that I made NO sense, and my mother said I was waving my arms and trying to write some hieroglyphs at some point. I was really fucked up on some good drugs, yo. I wish it would’ve been taped…that would have been gold. Comic gold.

At some point in the afternoon, the ultrasound people came into the room and did an ultrasound over the area in question. This only took forever, but wasn’t uncomfortable, just annoying. I was also told that I may get to move the next day back to my original floor, to which buoyed my hopes of progress.

After my mother left, I was left to lie in my temporary bed and ponder the possibilities of what the second surgery was for and what that meant for my immediate future. Was I in serious jeopardy of losing the thing I had so desperately desired already? What complication had occurred?

What I remember most is simply one long, endless night of watching the television with the sound on.

In the evening I was given a cup of ice chips. You never realize how heavenly ice chips can be until your mouth is incredibly dry, your lips have dried blood on them, and you’re in the mood to eat. I had some ice chips fed to me by the nurse who was taking care of me. She was incredibly sweet to, every 10 mins or so, drop into the room, pick up the plastic spoon, dig into that cup of ice chips and put them in my awaiting mouth of cotton.

However, she made one very grave mistake. I became, an ice chip man-whore. After the first cup, she asked if I wanted more, I said…”Hmmmmm, sure.” I remember swirling my still parched tongue around the interior of my mouth and thinking that even if my mouths feels fairly good now…if I dare say no, I won’t be able to get any later. It was a brilliant strategic maneuver!

After a while, she tried to cut me off by saying I now had to feed them too myself. This proved to be another grave mistake on her part. I only downed them faster. The nurse eventually had to cut my ass off because I was going until the wee hours of the following morning downing cup after cup of ice chips.

By this point, we are talking 3-4 in the morning, and this was the time that the damn women’s hair place ad and its song were freaking me out.

Day 5 never really ends because I never went to sleep that night. I was awake from 7am on that Tuesday, through 7am and beyond on the Wednesday.

Day 6 will start @ 7am Wednesday.

Ummmm...

I know what shoes hanging on phone wire means, but what does
sweatshirt hanging on random telephone pole mean?

April Commence - Days 1-4

April 3rd, 2009

So, there I was, sitting at the family dinner table slurping down one of my favorite meals, homemade chicken and no-yolk noodles, when the phone rang...

It was Thursday and I had come home early that day from work. I felt awful. This marked only the first time I had actually left work early, but the previous month had seen days of me working 3 per week at a sheer max.

My days off were filled of fatigue, light-headed awakedness, eye-sensitivity to light, and pure built-in familial guilt that my ass was NOT at work.

I was a solid 10-15 pounds overweight. My drinking machine had tanked to the point I was now literally retaining water. I had just been in the ER the week prior after vomiting while watching President Obama deliver his first State of the Union (my hurling had nothing to do with the content).

It had been approximately 6 months since I had first gotten my first possible donor call, which I conveniently took at the desk of a big cheese while they were blissfully even unaware I was on "the list." That was an interesting call to have.

...I picked up my phone and when I saw who it was, my body froze for a moment in anticipation. It was "the call" (not nearly as cool as Jeremy Goodwin's "call" on Sportsnight).

I immediately dispensed of the rest of my soup, grabbed my bag and we headed off to the drinking machine removal department (the hospital).

The drive through the cold, moist, big city air was quick. What would await me would be the longest, most annoying wait of my entire life...

I can honestly say that it wasn't nerve-wracking like most people would think. I had sort of seen this inevitability coming nearly 2 years prior.

There was some initial denial. I made the doctor who eventually sat my butt down and clearly said I had a choice, but I really didn't wait a year before I came to that conclusion. But, for the whole next year, even when on a wonderful vacation with my friends, the possibilities loomed over me like a midget at a Christmas-themed store.

But, finally, after the year had passed and the hard data came flying in my face, which I completely expected, but seriously hoped not to see, I acted very quickly.

In typical family-tradition fashion, I did a lot of the legwork in secret. I scheduled appointment after appointment that summer. My social calendar (rarely full) was booked between my friend spending the month with me, and fantastic doctor visits.

By the time, my body was on the line, I was mentally already ready.

...Being ready, and getting to the chopping block 6 hours early...really sucks. When waiting, one couldn't eat or drink. And go to sleep?!?! Forget about it! Well, I got around an hour of sleep.

After being woken up, I was more than ready to go.

I flopped my bod on that stretcher/gurney quickly and was whisked off to the OR waiting area. (Shocker...not a lot of action in this OR at 5am)

Again, I waited. I was read some stuff on how they were going to knock me out (big hammer blow to the noggin). And, continued to wait.

Before I signed my life away I was asked the simple question as to whether I was nervous. I hesitated because I knew the correct answer...duh, yeah!

To which I said, "Yes." But, I vividly remember being extremely ambivalent about the question. When you get to that point, you've said all you've wanted to say to the people you love, you've written letters in case of one's death, and it's when you have to go all in.

I remember being hooked up the the knockout hammer for maybe a minute. After that, the next 98 hours was me being a goner. Day 5 begins at around 7am...

My hands, my hands!

As has been noted previously in this blog, my 11-hour procedure left me with some lovely scars and some other little things.

After I was weaned off the morphine self-loving pump, the first things to really annoy me was the thumb on my left hand.

It was a bitch to text and my thumb was killing me. I remember texting my sister they'd have to call me because I was tired of my thumb hurting.

Well, here I sit with nearly 7 months behind me and my thumb is still hurting on occasion at various levels. Along with half my forearm STILL being 1/2 numb.

I am beginning to think there was some serious nerve damage done while I was strapped down for the surgery. However, I have also begun noticing a little thing with my right hand/arm. So, it appears both arms/hands were somewhat hurt, albeit my right hand has been largely fine up to this point.

Now that my last physical outer wound has completely healed up and I have no more things to worry about getting infected, it appears the last waiting game is the hands. I am growing ever more convinced that this will never completely heal back to the way it was, but it they do...it will take a good year...maybe 2 at this rate.

I'm not complaining. However, I am making an observation of something that is annoying me and causing occasional pain.

Fifty Percent

Today marks the 50% mark to a year post-transplant. A year post-transplant is my ultimate sign-post, but this is technically-speaking, a bigger benchmark for me and my progress in keeping the organ I have acquired.

So, I am at 6 months out, and the road looks as clear as one can possibly imagine.

The next month will be a test, however.

A. Swine flu shot will be coming, and no one really knows how those will work. So, there is a threat to my health.

B. There also may be some changes coming in terms of the drugs I am taking, so who knows how that will go after I get the last foreign object pulled out of my chest.

It will be an interesting month to see how my body reacts. But,so far so good.

This is a massive benchmark I have met and it has made up for an awful Friday.

I've known this

little factoid for a while now: A while back I lost something.

Something I was pretty sure at the time of losing it, I wouldn't get it back for a variety of reasons.

I lost love.

Many moons ago, I was most-definitely in love. I was somewhat certain of it then, and as the years have rolled on by, as the nights of wondering what would have become, I have no doubts. I still am in a way.

I also have no illusions of grandeur, no telling of tall tales that have been exaggerated like a great joke always is (or so a person I knew once told me).

It's odd and extremely annoying when one's brain reaches back into the deep dark recesses of one's brain and expunges these memory fragments from a time long ago spent and it as if you can almost transport yourself back to those very moments and relive them emotionally (but, with the benefit of hind-sight which can be good & or bad).

I'd say until recently, I hadn't thought about her in a solid 6 months: I was too busy getting well. But, as I lay in my bed, my brain began knocking me on the skull wanting to reminisce.

I was watching episodes from the first season of "thirtysomething" this evening, and saw episode 19. Long story short: Michael, a married father, has a woman he has been very close with for years. They were extremely close, and both secretly wanted the other, but they never did anything about, but they kept writing for years after she up and move to England on a whim it seems. As she comes back to see Michael and his wife, and his baby, and his house...they reconnect for a few moments. It reminded me of my lost one.

My thought, is simple. This character, Michael, is pseudo-normal...very similar to any Tom, Dick, or even Harry you'd meet on the street today. I, am far from normal.

I have always quietly and begrudgingly accepted the fact that I am extremely peculiar in my ways and will very likely never find that kind of closeness ever again. I can only imagine what I would uproot if I found it again, so perhaps I should cut my mother some slack.

But, as I roll into what I believe to be the last 20 years of my existence, looking forward seems extremely dreary. This girl knew what made me tick, and she still loved me. It was the most fascinating thing. It was completely and utterly dumbfounding, and all-confusing all at once.

I have a very tough exterior to people who don't know me. It takes a long time for me to feel comfortable enough to let myself out of the genie box. It took 2 years to truly be myself at work, and that was only after the addition of a new teacher the year prior, who I have now become friendly with. Yes, she's married.

I was heavily beat up psychologically (sometimes physically) as a kid going to a big public school, which gave me this exterior, and at this point I truly envy my sister. She is stepping out there and meeting people and actually finding people who like her for her. Least it seems so.

I had it, and I lost it. I have few regrets, but why I didn't handle things differently from how I did, is possibly the biggest. And now, after many moons out of touch, I cannot seem to connect with her.

Worse yet, I have never let go of her.

But, perhaps, just perhaps I will hit my stride sometime this decade. Being the pessimist I am, I doubt it. But, just maybe.

Kornheiser is Back!!

At this very moment, I am likely working with some of my students. Meanwhile, the animal revolution has thus commenced, and the reign of Satchmo on the radio continues on...

However, I will be home in 7 hours to catch the first podcast of:

Old Guy Radio! (aka: The Tony Kornheiser Show!!!!!!!)

Welcome back Tone! Missed you!!

Red Sox bets, revisited thus far

http://murbalah-gen.blogspot.com/2009/03/10-days-im-tingly.html

There's the link to my original post.

My thoughts are in (). Looks like I'm gonna hit around 50% on these. Not terrible I suppose...34 games left in the regular season.

PLAYER OVER/UNDERS


Home Runs
David Ortiz 32.5 - Under (only has 22 right now, looks good 4 me)
Jason Bay 28.5 - Over (DING! First hit! J. Bay has 29 already)


Batting Average
Dustin Pedroia .313 - Over (currently just at .298. Pedey having, solid but not MVP year)


Doubles
Dustin Pedroia 40.5 - Under (has 40 right now, looks like he'll easily get more than thought)


RBI
Kevin Youkilis 102.5 - Over (at 74 now, will have to make a push for next 29)


Stolen Bases
Jacoby Ellsbury 49.5 - Over (Dreamboat just broke team record for steals in season, is at 55)


Pitching Wins
Josh Beckett 14.5 - Over (my boy Beckett has 14 now, would be shocked if didn't get more)
Jon Lester 14.5 - Under (Lester has 10 now, arguably been most consistent pitcher all year, should get close to the 14, if not over)
Daisuke Matsuzaka 14.5 - Under (BIG bust this year, only 8 starts and 1 win. He'll be lucky to get 4, much less 14)


Saves
Jonathan Papelbon 38.5 - Under (Paps is at 31 now. Good shot for hitting this mark, but I feel he'll be conserved even more when Sept. 1st call-ups come on Tuesday.)

Another random pic post

First, and I almost gave this pic it's very own post, it's clearly a pair of jeans. However, not just any pair of jeans...my Kenneth Cole jeans (one of 2 pair I own) and my the most comfortable pair of jeans I own. These are my fave jeans, I have been desperately searching for another pair just like them...



Second, I have taken a picture of a hallway in an area hospital that I will be frequenting for pretty much the rest of my existence on planet Crazy. I took the picture because as I was sitting there, I noticed that some asshat decided they needed to continue the hall runner (whatever those are called) into the window cut-outs.

Really odd thing to do, and I would imagine that during the construction of said wing, this added a good 50 cents to my overall hospital bill that was given to my insurance company. *Hold on, I have a phone call* Yep, insurance just called...they want their 50 cent back. DOH!

2 pictures during 1 vacation

Both pictures are from a recent vacation to lovely little city next to miles of beach.

Picture 1 is of a button I saw an illegally took a picture of. Sssssh. I think it's self-explanatory. I thought it was funnay.

Picture 2 is a snap of my foot. More importantly, is the line you can clearly see on the nail of my big toe. This is what happens when you have the type of procedure I had done, your toes change a bit, and you can clearly see the timeline on your toe.

A binder clip's many uses?

Just discovered a new use for a binder clip! I love these clips, and this is one way I wish I hadn't quite discovered:

Using the clip to pinch off a tube that has begun to leak crap from your body. Oh, isn't that a lovely invention?!?!

And it's so sterile, I'm sure the docs will adore the new fashion look I've decided to sport.

I believe, jaunty is the word? Yes, indeed. It's jaunty!

Sad and Depressed

I continue to be extremely sad and depressed about the sheer amount of greed in this country. The outrageous opposition to any possible meaningful health care reform in the American body politic is getting to be a bit much and it's starting to really disappoint me.

I think most Americans may not "get" the full details of what is possibly being proposed, but that has nothing to do with my disappointment.

My disappointment stems from the lack of generosity people have in this fucking country. The bottom line is simple: Those who have health care insurance are not willing to give a little to those who have nothing. People like to say they give to charities, they would help their neighbors, but they won't help the neighbor they can't see.

I have always thought the average American was/is a complete moron. So, my opinion of them has never been high. They are like hyped-up-on-hormones teenagers. They think that a serious health incident will never happen to them, and if it does, their insurance will cover them: All facts contrary to the truth.

But, this is beginning to hit a new low. It's sad, depressing, and incredibly pathetic.

HELP! - My Terrible Towel Buying Dilemna

I cannot choose. I'm in the market for a new bath towel, and thus, design. I have narrowed it down to three choices, but I cannot decide. Therefore, I'm going to post the three pictures of the towels I have narrowed the choice down to and see what the blogosphere thinks.







Obviously, for the first two options there are 3 color varieties. I would appreciate knowing the color you likey best, but I am not going to worry if you just like the particular look.

Charter School Chicanery

As a special educator of elementary students, this continuing trend in education has me deeply troubled.

In recent years, as different groups/administrations have tried to "fix" failing school systems, the prospect of charter schools have been lauded and praised as good remedy for the problem. In fact, the Obama Administration is threatening to withhold millions of stimulus dollars to states that hinder the growth and prominence of charter schools.

Therefore, my state's governor, has issued a decree that he wants to nearly double the number of students attending charter schools in the state. I'm sure most charter schools are cute, dainty, lovely educational institutions that cater to the needs of the children they accept...err...wait, what? Accept? Oh yeah, that's something my public school system I work for CANNOT do by law, we cannot refuse anyone an education.

But, onto the real problem many of my ilk have: It's all about money. No, not about my paycheck. Although, as you know, we teachers are VASTLY overpaid *cough, cough.* But, seriously, I am a special educator with a unique set of tools that allow me to better teach students with those needs, and I am barely paid a living wage considering where I reside. It's a damn good thing I love my students and my job.

It's about the economics of a school and how taking students away from a school can drastically affect how much money the administration has to spend. Each student taken away from a school/district carries away with them anywhere from $9,000-$15,000.

Let's take the average of those numbers and say District X spends $12,000 per student. District X also features a total of 5 2nd grade classes with 25 students per class. Let's also say that 10 parents choose to move their child to a charter school via school choice. This means that District X loses $120,000 off the top of their budget. Well, now you have to fire a teacher.

So, we originally had 5 classes X 25 = 125 students. Now we have 115 students spread out among 4 classes. This averages out to over 28.75 students per class.

TRUST ME when I say that there is a huge difference between a class of 25 and a class of 28-29. It seems simple, for it's only 3-4 more students. But, that's 3-4 more students that could shake up the chemistry of a class negatively, and/or that is 3-4 more students you have to divide your attention to as a teacher. Therefore, the other 25 students have their teaching experience suffer.

Moreover, this making the vast assumption that the $120,000 only costs you a teacher. The problem also comes in that schools have fixed costs that no matter how many students you have, you still have to pay a fixed amount.

Such as: Lighting, heating, sometimes cooling, general maintenance costs, janitors costs (the building doesn't magically get smaller when you lose students, they still have to clean the whole building), transportation costs likely wouldn't be lowered because it would be highly unlikely all 10 students were on the same bus, professional development costs, etc, etc.

Finally, as a special educator, my job is incredibly secure. These charter schools typically get to chose who they accept or reject. They would most likely reject the difficult special education students that even applied. This would leave a disproportionate percentage of special needs students in the public school system. And newsflash, they cost more!!

Charter schools are bad business for public education and bad news for public education students who will be left behind. Me and my boy Obama part ways on this issue.

An All-Star Travesty

this All-Star game continues to be a freaking joke. Tim Wakefield, the 40+ year old knuckleball pitcher for the Boston Red Sox, has been pitching in the big leagues for 17 years. Originally starting his career with the Pittsburg Pirates organization and being a corner infielder, Wake discovered he wasn't going to get to the majors playing that position. That's when he started toying with the idea of throwing the knuckleball just to find anyway he could eventually make the majors.

He came up to the major league in 1992, and initially had very good success until control problems forced him to go back to the minors in 1993. Eventually he was let go by the Pirates and was signed by the Sox in 1995. From then on, history was made.

For years, Wake quietly hung around in Boston, gaining little notoriety even in the town he pitched in. Eventually, slowly, Wake became a fan favorite and an all-time Red Sox player, and is one of the franchises favorite and most beloved players today.

For the first time in his career, he was selected to be in the All-Star game. He never got to play, and it's largely Bud Selig's fault.

This asinine idea of making this All-Star game "count" cost Wake his only likely chance at an appearance in an All-Star game. Baseball is trying to have their cake and eat it too. And when people try to do this, one thing invariably happens: They don't eat cake, they eat a steaming pile of horse dung.

First, baseball requires that all teams be represented, which is stupid if your playing a game where you should have all the best players available to play to decide an important game. Instead, a player like Ian Kinsler, who is argueably the 2nd best 2nd baseman in the American League, gets left off the roster so that Adam Jones of Baltimore so they are represented. Nothing against Jones, but Kinsler is better.

Second, as an American League (AL) fan, I am thrilled with this set-up because the AL is a superior league all the way around. The AL has won the last 12 All-Star games, that's not a fluke. The AL has the most money to spend, see the MF Yankees and the Boston Red Sox. Not to mention the Angels, Texas, etc. The AL has a disproportionate number of teams when compared to the National League (NL) that are willing and able to spend money to buy the best players. This inherently makes this game to decide home field advantage incredibly unfair.

Third, by making this game as such, it causes the possibility for players like Wake who are old and likely at their only All-Star game could be skipped over and not have the chance to even play because the respective managers are afraid of having to forfeit in extra inning because they don't have enough pitchers, thus handing home field advantage to the other league in the World Series.

Fourth, and finally, baseball should go back to the alternating league having home field advantage in the World Series. With the unbalanced schedule, you could argue that choosing the home field based on win-loss record can also be unfair. A team like the Red Sox that plays in the toughest division in baseball can have a worse record than a team like the L.A. Dodgers from the NL, who is actually a worse team, because they play in an incredibly weak division.

Either way, baseball's decision on the meaning of these All-Star games is stupid and incredibly unfair. This needs to be changed back to what was original policy.

Continuing Assault on Teachers and Their Rights

As an educator myself, this infuriates me:

Brad Young was a high school softball coach in Walkersville, Maryland. The team had a good year going 15 and 4 and to the state semifinals this season.

So, he held an end-of-season cookout for his team and their parental units. One parent brought some beer to the shin-dig.

Some of the other parents drank one or two beers. None of the softball team members drank the beer, nor did Brad.

One of the other parents who obviously didn't drink the beer, called the School Board.

Ergo, Brad, for his trouble and for hosting a cook-out at his house...fired and banned from coaching for three years.

I don't drink, I hate bars, I hate big parties where there is drinking...but, WOW. This is truly pathetic. Even I wouldn't have called to complain.

This is one among many reasons why people don't want to go into teaching anymore...this exact type of bullshit. You can't do something nice anymore and not get shit on because of something not being EXACTLY perfect.

I'd be marginally okay with a small censure of the guy for not remembering the rules and not realizing this would be considered an "official team function." But, to fire and ban the guy is a gross overreaction.

At least he wasn't fucking his star pitcher...there are much bigger problems administrators should be worried about.

A realization

Within this or the other blog I run is a post calling for celebs to form a group to turn the tables on the paparazzi and follow the people who follow celebs with impunity. Dig through their trash, stalk them on vacation, etc, etc.

TMZ made this infinity easier by having a ridiculous tv show, so now the celebs can know easily who they should target and humiliate publicly.

The people that work for these clowns, are so pathetic they deserve to be humiliated publicly. I have no sympathy for these clowns.

Twenty Five Percent

Today marks the 25% mark of the year. No, not of the calendar year. The year it will take for me to feel comfortable that my surgical event is going to last for a good long while. Once you hit a year, all things seem to usually go fine for a while. I, am 25% there.

Things are going well, let's keep it that way.

A Note to Starbucks Baristas

When I hand you my Starbucks Gold card to pay for my coffee-related beverage, quit asking me: "Is there money on this card?"

Because, NO, there's not! I'm handing you a card that I knowingly have NO money on, just to waste my and your fucking time! Get a freakin' clue!

James Brown, the ex-footballer, is right

Brown has continued his outcry, publicly calling out star black athletes like Tiger and Michael Jordan and many in the media don't like it and find it uncalled for on his end.

I have argued before in this blog that Brown is right in calling these asshats out. The thing the media doesn't get is fairly simple: While the Coz (Bill Cosby) has come out barking at young, black men needing to take some freaking responsibility, adding on to what Brown has been talking about for decades...I have to believe that young, black men are looking at these two old men and hearing white noise.

Michael may be now too old as well to deliver this message effectively, but Tiger certainly is not. He could use his bully pulpit as an international star of epic proportions to deliver such a message to young, black men.

I am sorry, but making the cash he is making, there is an intrinsic responsibility put upon him to take this role. It's clear to me that Tiger is way too image conscious, when he doesn't need to be. Yet another reason to hate golf...

A Note to eBay Sellers

This is the second time in as many weeks I have gotten a note like this in packaging of the auction item I had won, and I have noticed these type of notices popping up recently:



Thus, my simple note to ALL eBay sellers who send this type of crap-tastic note either via e-mail or a nice hard copy...you send me a note like this, you AUTOMATICALLY are downgraded to the best you can get is 4 stars when I rate your ass.

1. I don't give a shit about eBay's rating system and how your little ego may be hurt. Awww.

2. How 'bout sending your crap your selling out faster, and not notoriously padding your auction winnings with extravagant shipping costs to the winner?

You want all 5 stars? Then perform the service like it, and don't lecture me on your rating. You will not win a place in my heart.

Go cry in your bowl of Captain Crunch...

I'm just sayin'...

If this were serious...could you imagine how attached one's ass would get to the porcelain god? This would be a smelly, painful, long day. I'm just sayin'...

As Seen This AM

First, we can't use proper grammar or spell correctly. Second, and perhaps worst of all, we can no longer wipe thy own ass.

The people @ Pizza Hut are morons

A great pizza chain that has built itself up and become one of the top chains (if not the top chain) in the country is about to commit suicide.

They are going to re-brand their name and call themselves "The Hut." How stupid is that?

Apparently, the whiz kids @ Pizza Hut want to change the name because it goes with the texting generation or whatever.

Texting? That's your reason? Wow! That reason is stupefying.

A Belated "L Word" finale rant

Okay, the rant isn't belated. I just watched the series finale of the "L Word".

Consistently within my blog writings I have noted how writing makes a tv series fantastic. I have waxed on and off at how "The Wire" was the best drama series ever made for tv because of the impeccable writing.

Well, I never watched "The Soprano's" saga, but I have seen many a series finales: "Mad About You," "Cheers," "Seinfeld," "NYPD Blue," "Six Feet Under," "The Wire," etc, etc, etc.

And one revolving theme throughout most of these finales: They usually suck big potatoes (Dan Quayle take notice, THAT'S when you ad the 'e'). For some reason, writers have issues killing their babies in a humane way.

They have this sick compulsion to drag their shows through the worst mud you can possibly imagine.

In humanity, people need closure. For some reason, most series finales fail miserably at this simple task. "Six Feet Under" may have been the best finale ever. They had closure. This doesn't mean the main characters all have to die to get this closure.

However, you can't leave essential plot lines you so painfully setup and developed to hang in the wind.

The "L Word" finale did exactly that. Not only did the writers totally fuck the finale, they fucked the entire last season. Brutal.

My snarky, personal reply to Palin...

...as an admitted pervert, I think it's time this word not be taken so nastily. Moreover, I take personal offense at Palin putting Letterman in pervert status. He made a silly joke, and a silly joke should not, I repeat, should not get your ass elevated to the status of being a pervert.

As a pervert of sorts, I demand a much higher standard for entry into this club: And for Palin to attempt to give Letterman the keys to this club is bogus.

Finally, pervert should seriously stop being a dirty word; Much like the word liberal.

I realize I live in a puritanical state where seeing a man's penis on ANY film is ghastly and shocking to the virgin eyes of citizens...but, I seriously wish we could grow the fuck up.

My Mother - My Goodness

OY!

My mother not only got re-married in a swift-shotgun-like wedding 3 days before that "Christmas" holiday thing, not only was a missing mother during my massive stay in the hospital, not only has lost her sense of self and personal identify and struggles to even recognize the true meaning of words like "I" and "me"...she has apparently become - a money-grubbing old woman.

This just keeps getting better and better as the months since this farce began.

I am angry at this latest item to be dropped into my lexicon, but I am also just sad...sad from looking at the sad sack of shit she is becoming before my very eyes.

The Obama Burger eatery

Okay, so it's not really the Obama eatery, but after they tried Five Guys...I felt the need to go. And my sister being in town, gave me a great excuse to try it.

Being a bloke who doesn't eat red meat very often, and hamburgers are VERY rarely consume, my palate may not be the best judge in this area. However, a good cheeseburger with some fixings was had.

Best part was sitting out on the stoop because there were no open tables, and the lovely spilled ketchup that was soon to follow; Causing a lovely ketchup slime art installation. This lovely artistic piece will be available for viewing by the public until...it rains!

I am being haunted...

After I awoke and was actually aware of my surroundings to the point of being coherent (this took a few days, pain killers can be fun it seems) I ended up staying awake in the ICU for a whopping 36-40 hours. I forget the actual total because this was 7 weeks ago or so.

However, I became coherent in the early AM (around 9). After my mother and "The Guy" left my ICU room seemingly early, I was awake all night. During the late night hour one freaking ad kept playing and playing: The Hair Cuttery ad here in the Hub.

If you live around the Hub or have traveled to the Hub, or have seen this ad with this attractive woman doing a little dance while this song plays on the ad...it's catchy.

But, now that I am out of the hospital, whenever I see this ad on the tv, the freaking song sticks in my head. Worse, it pops up in my head just out of the freaking blue.

I liked the ad as I was in the ICU and the lady in the ad was fantastic to look at, and the songs was catchy. But, wow...how I didn't know it would follow me for 2 months and counting.

A sad state of affairs in my armpits

I have just noticed something about my body that is different than what I had seen before my massive surgery...I HAVE NO ARMPIT HAIR!!!!!!

I have NO clue as to where it went, why it went, or if it will return. However, considering I am about to mark 2 months since surgery day, I have no hope. My facial hair is growing as usual, so, this may be a bad sign.

I'm going to have to check the surgical notes from the procedure to see if they mention chopping off my armpit hair. As one could see from the pic I posted, the surgery was not really close to my armpit, so this is a big puzzlement to me.

The oddities in my little life...OY!

My Doggie Is SO Damn Cute!

Below is a picture of one stressed-out doggie. Errrrrrr....not!

The scars tell the story

My scars bear the tale of the past weeks I spent in the hospital. They have mostly healed. This picture looked so much more gnarly 7 weeks ago when the staples were still in...

Update: Friend noted I have several options on what to refer to this shape as: wishbone, peace symbol, transistor (what do you expect from a computer nerd?), and there's always what I've called it via the nurse who told me it is called the Mercedes cut for the logo of the car maker.

A BIG Thank You is due

After a conversation with my Grams, it just occurred to me that as a government employee, that my fantastic health care insurance is paying what must be a gargantuan sum of cash for my recent 11-hour marathon operation (subsequently followed by 2 more operations).

Therefore, I'd just like to say thank you to the taxpayers of my chosen state for paying a healthy percentage of my coverage.

I'm sure they'd feel terrific knowing their tax dollars have gone to invest in this old, curmudgeonly bastard.

I learned a lesson...DUR!

When your cellphone company calls you to warn you about possible overages...and you have already changed your plan because you realized that ahead of time....yeah, still go look again.

Yours truly didn't check his minutes again, after changing the original limit and bought more minutes...so I assumed this was in reference to the initial problem...yeah I got my bill...i was WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WRONG in a MAJOR WAY.

My normal bill is juuuust over $70 per and it includes a ton of stuff, but not talking minutes...cuz, I don't fucking talk to many people...I'm an introvert.

Well, being in a hospital for a while tends to have people call, and clearly, I chatted more than I even realized.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAY MORE. My bill this month jumped by more than 3x the normal...just a few greenbacks shy of $150.

Yeah, so take it from me folks...when your cellphone company is actually trying to help you out...don't be a smug asshat like me...go check things out juuuuuust in case the proverbial shit has indeed hit the fan.

This post is labeled as obit, as in my bank account is dead on arrival for a while. OUCH!!!!

I'll consider this my co-pay for my extended-stay vacation in a hospital bed, since I thankfully have wonderful health insurance. OY!

So long TK Man

"The TK Man from DC Town" (Tony Kornheiser) goes away from Monday Night Fooseball. I love the TK Man. He is a total crumudgeon as I am. He honestly, stunk at the fooseball commentary, but I am hopeful this will spur him back into radio so I can tune into his fantastic "Old Guy Radio" show again....I miss TK on radio. On radio, he is utterly brilliant.

Video of the TK Man discussing his departure from MNF.

Someone hire this man immediately for radio!!

Come back TK...please...

As Seen...

Sitting in front of a Starbucks as I pound this out of my mobile device...I see a pregnant woman enter this fine establishment.

No clue what she be a ordering...ahhh...she came out with what looks like a grande' latte...but, just like we have laws about pregnant women who smoke and/or drink...shouldn't we consider laws against pregnant women ingesting copious amount of caffeine as well?

Wonder if there have been any scientific studies on the effects of massive amounts of caffeine on a fetus.

Is ADHD, which I firmly believe is over-diagnosed by irresponsible parents who refuse to take control of their child, caused more by fast moving images on a television screen, or it a function of too much caffeine/drug exposure in-utero?

Just wondering...not saying.

My goodness I am a jackass

I was crusing the "internets." as Dubya would say, this weekend and I saw a headline on msnbc.com about some (clearly) whack-job parents who were denied their right by a court to deny their child chemotherapy.

The court in question felt these parents' religious rights/freedom only went so far...not far enough to deny their child needed medical care in this instance.

Here is where I show my jackassery...I wish the court HAD allowed these freakin', nitwitted rubes to deny their child the needed chemotherapy...and then he'd die...most likely ridding the world of yet another crazed religious nutbag.

This is quite an assumption I admit. As I have noted I came from a religious household, but as early as high school began questioning religious dogma...and am now, a stark-raving atheist wingnut who is militant to a fault.

Go figure...I admit to being a cold, ruthless jackass. Sue me.

Cereal Nazi?

This morning it occurred to me...I am a cereal Nazi.

I have always been extremely particular about my food...even as a baby (as I have been told)...so, perhaps this shouldn't have taken so long for me to realize.

With cereal, I find I like a very particular ratio of cereal to milk and in a specific shape of bowl to maximize cereal eating pleasure.

So Seinfeld had the Soup Nazi, meet the Cereal Nazi.

Surreal

Just after 3 week from discharge from the hospital, and roughly 6 after my massive 11-hour surgical procedure...when I look down at my wound/staple track...it has become a surreal thing to behold.

3 weeks in the hospital, and now 3 weeks at home...as one might expect, time does fly faster at home.

It seems like it just happened yesterday, but not really. As I look down and watch the healing continue, it amazes me as to how quickly things seemed to have changed in my life.

The marvels of modern medicine can be halting and stunning. I am a real example of that phenomenon.

A 15 year love affair with my gum

For 15+ years I have chewed one gum exclusively: Bubble Yum Sugarless Peppermint Gum.

This gum was the bomb! It is one gum that WILL hold it's flavor for over 2 hours!

I am so saddened that Hersey has decided to discontinue this product, I have just spent $165 on stocking up on this gum. How sick am I, eh?

I'm in favor of term limits...

...for surgeons .

There should be a federal law that doesn't allow anyone over the age of 60 to be the lead surgical operator in an operating room.

Since I am aware enough to know that there are those very few doctors who are over 60 and can still do a great job at their craft, I would set up a federal panel to hear appeals to this hard age cap.

However, each surgeon would have to provide all surgical records from the previous 5 years and would continue to be subject to these reviews every 5 years after until such time that it is deemed they must give up their surgical scrubs.

Odd, but true

Five weeks ago from today, I was in the ICU having just gotten out of a 11 hour surgery to repossess and replace an organ in my chest cavity.

The oddest thing is this simple thing: After 5 weeks, the one thing that really still hurts?

My god damn thumb on the left hand!

A sickening admission

As a loner, and an introvert, I have never wanted nor cared much for/about human contact in a big way. I am content to live out my life in much solitude, only stepping out to do the profession that I love: teaching.

However, perhaps it's my old age creeping up on me, perhaps it's the experiences of the past 5 weeks, perhaps its the drugs I've been taking talking...but, I can now say I would like to meet a woman to be with and eventually marry.

I suppose that in reality, this position has always been as such, but I feel now more so than ever that this is something I would indeed like. It does make me slightly ill, this admission however.

Lately, everyone in our family but me and my sister has been getting freaking married! Or should I say "re-married." One of my mother's sisters got re-hitched. Less than a year later, my mother who had been "dating" this dude for a whopping 6? (this is a generous 6) months got re-hitched.

As before, I am in no rush, and I will not compromise much to find/acquire said woman. So, I am not expecting anything to happen for the next foreseeable 30 years. But, it's that thought nagging there.

And, it's damn annoying.

A dusting away the healing time

You know you don't dust very often when you have to dust the box that holds the Swiffer Dusters...whoops! My bad!

More proof "God" is a myth

Shouldn't these delusional bitches not need those masks? Won't "God" save them from the swine flu?

Surely any righteous "God" would save his disciples from the wrath of this creation...surely...right?

ShamWow's Demise

The people at Consumer Reports have finally killed any fascination with Vince and his ShamWow! Check out the free video here.

Toyota's Prius Cover-Up?

I am a huge fan of two car companies: Honda and Toyota. However, this fascinating article I found in the Seattle Weekly suggests that my good friends @ Toyota are hiding a deep, dark problem with their precious Prius: Unexplained car acceleration.

Here's the story in printable view from the news website.

Where I've Been...

Since April 3rd...I have been gone. I have not been at home nor near a computer. I have been...in the hospital.

During the past *roughly* 3 weeks, I have endured 3 surgeries (one lasting nearly a half a day), numerous procedures, and a multitude of tests. To put it simply...I have gotten my monies worth out of my health care insurance.

These past 3 weeks, I have crafted and lost many a posts in my noggin'. I will do my best to re-create them and bring to life my past 3 weeks.

As I type, I am still here in the hospital, but I am on the brink of being released and my now technicolor body is eager to go.

An Epiphany, of sorts

It has finally entered my mind's hemisphere consciously...perhaps it had before and I forgot it, but this thought now strikes me:

I have been on the coping train for over 30 years. I have an illness that is chronic in some respects, an illness for which I am not responsible for giving thyself. It was a free perk of my livelihood. Eventually, there will be some medical things done to address this situation, as I have only gotten sicker as the years have rolled on by.

There were times when, much younger, I contemplating ending this life. But, even then I endured, saying that things almost had to get better. And, they did. I had a lovely 8-10 year run where things went well for me with this condition that made it something I hardly thought about.

But, as with gravity, what goes up, must surely come down...and it's come down in a big way. Despite the good period I had, there were still things that needed addressing. Other things unrelated to this illness also stressed my endurance.

This is NOT intended to be a pity parade. I have been extremely lucky in many ways, but it has started to enter my mind that...well...this world is just no more for me.

The medical things being contemplated are taking their sweet time to come to fruition and I can only say, I've grown weary of the waiting game.

Grown weary because my body is really starting to fail me now, and while the physical manifestations are not sheer pain 24/7 (or even close too it), there has become a physical reality and an mixture of solid chronic dull pain, to discomfort, sometimes swinging into the real pain territory.

My brain, my psyche, has realized that I've been in coping mode for this long now...and one can only be in coping mode for so long before one starts to wish to cope no more.

I can say that I am reminded back to the early years and how it was then, and while I had the annoying little quirks/perks then, I don't recall having the pain as well. That was more of a mental hell, in more ways than one.

I'm not at the point of no return yet. I still have the fighting spirit in me enough to take this f-er head-on when it comes to the medical things that will be required to be done. I'm, in fact, eager to fight. However, my chance has not come.

And I am starting to begin to see the light at the end of a dark, long tunnel...and in this case...the light is a bad omen.

CNN - Continues to Dissappoint

CNN has seen their ratings plummet, but there are reasons why. One may be they can't take the heat.

I loved the show "D.L. Hughley Breaks the News". His show was interesting, different, and offered a different take/perspective on issues of the day.

It has been canceled, and I will miss the show.

The show didn't fit the normal mold, caused some stirring, some controversy...and I like that. Just because he's a comedian, didn't mean his opinions/views were any less valuable than a "journalists."

Indications are CNN has other plans for him and they are hanging onto him via his contract, but I hope MSNBC gets off their fat ass and hires him...though I'm sure they won't. MSNBC's weekend and late night programming is piss-poor and eternally shitty. Those documentaries about the prison system or whatever are canned and no one watches them...at least put on some talent 24/7 to cover the daily news (this is one thing FoxSnooze and CNN are doing right).

Part of the problem in America media today is the concept of not wanting to cause some waves...it's almost like a country group-think paralysis. I'd argue this is why media companies are tanking left and right. They have abandoned hard-hitting journalism and in-depth reporting and they have fallen into the trap of scooping themselves. By releasing breaking stories on their internet page before a paper or magazine comes out, they are cutting their own throat.

Case in point concerning the paralysis: Obama was criticized for being too dour and dark about the economy during press conferences and speeches. Then he went on CBS' "60 Minutes" and was laughing with Steve Kroft and he got bashed for taking it too lightly.

Bill Maher was fired off ABC in 2002 for speaking his mind. Whether you agreed or not with him at the time, (I did...as it does take courage to knowingly fly a plane into a building and have a firey death) he shouldn't have been. Censorship, see the previous post on Rep. Michele Bachmann, has NO place in this country. It's pathetic what has happened to us.

Me a reader? - Not so much

I am not a reader of books, that was the role of the other members of the family as I grew up...they all reader an insane amount of bookage. I just never got into it.

However, as a teacher, I have a few select favorite children's books that I read to my students every year. No matter what. Even if they already know the stories by heart, I just love reading and performing them that much.

One of them is the fantastic book by Maurice Sendak, "Where the Wild Things Are."

There is a movie being made based around/on the book, and when I heard this initially, I was skeptical and worried at what Hollywood would do to such a great story. But, a trailer has just been released for the first time that gives us a first glimpse of what the pictures/scenes will look like and I must say...they look very authentic and awesome, (except for one moment in the trailer (at a minute 20 seconds) where one of the "Wild Things" is running and it looks a bit tacky).

The trailer is mostly just some scenes and a glimpse at what the movie will look like aesthetically, with a tiny notion of a plot, but we know the plot in a sense...although it looks like Hollywood does their typical single mom fucking the random dude routine...blech. Betcha the damn Hollywood suits insisted on that angle.

I am buoyed and encouraged by this first look and look forward to seeing more detail later, as this doesn't open until October. I'm guessing they have recently begun post-production and just wanted to put something out there to create a buzz.

Let's hope that Spike Jonze does well here.

Yellin' @ da movies

I must say if you need one man to yell or say a good line really loudly in a motion picture production, no one does that better than Samuel L. Jackson.

Hmmmmm...

Just heard: An advertisement on the radio where they urge you to "pull out your major credit card" and call 1-800-Blow-Me2 (emphasis added).

Is there such a thing as a minor credit card?...really? How odd. I wonder what they'd do if you called wanting to pay with your minor credit card. Would they not accept your order?...I HIGHLY DOUBT IT!

Opposites Attract, eh?

There's an old saying or thought that when it comes to match-making, opposites attract.

I've always considered this to be total bullshit and I have NO idea where/when/how this myth got started.

However, as a new study illustrates, that old adage is, in fact...bullshit.

In my view, as a liberal-atheist American, I could NEVER (no matter how "hot" the woman) be attracted to some whack-job Christian Conservative who believes guns are cool, homosexuality is evil and you should love "The Jesus" and the bible.

EVER!!!!

I want to be with someone who challenges my views a bit and makes me think critically, sure...but not so insanely that I think they are a total whacko-crazy-ass bitch (*cough* Ann Coulter *cough*).

What may be true with magnets, isn't true with human behavior.

10 days - I'm tingly

Only 10 days left until Opening Day at the Fens...and the beginning of the 2009 Boston Red Sox Campaign for the World Series Title!!!!!!

I am SO stoked!!!!

Meanwhile, for those gamblers out yonder...let's play some over/under. This is where you get a number of X and you bet whether the player will get over that many X's or under. Here are the Vegas Over/Under Odds for the Red Sox in the 2009 Season (my bet would be in bold if I gambled):

PLAYER OVER/UNDERS

Home Runs
David Ortiz 32.5 - Under
Jason Bay 28.5 - Over

Batting Average
Dustin Pedroia .313 - Over

Doubles
Dustin Pedroia 40.5 - Under

RBI
Kevin Youkilis 102.5 - Over

Stolen Bases
Jacoby Ellsbury 49.5 - Over

Pitching Wins
Josh Beckett 14.5 - Over
Jon Lester 14.5 - Under
Daisuke Matsuzaka 14.5 - Under

Saves
Jonathan Papelbon 38.5 - Under

One of many problems with Corporate Americana

So, I bought this brand-new product a week ago. I immediately opened, and did the stupid registration thing online.

Had a problem, later...instead of calling, I sent an e-mail. Nearly a week later, no response from that e-mail. So, I called...

I had to answer all the questions I answered when I registered the thing: Name, Home, Phone, e-mail, serial #, etc...

This after a half hour wait, which is fine if YOU FIX MY PROBLEM after being on hold that long.

Nope, I was talking to some nitwit goober who had to "write a report," and then the next tier of support will contact me in the next business day. As IF I have time to wait for their bloody phone call ALL day home...clearly, I don't work or anything...

This after advertising on website that they have 24-hour tech support...W-R-O-N-G!! You have 24-hour drone support maybe.

Best part, I was talking to either someone in America who just happened to be an Indian working in an America-based tech support system, or I was speaking to someone in India. I think we all know the answer...

Quietly, Home Depot has been winning customers back after the bad Nardelli years where he fired all the experts and switched them to hourly stooges for the sake of "profit." How have they done it? Simple...they've brought back real customer service and experts who know their shit.

The HD revolution?

I do not have HDtv @ home. However, the few times I have seen it...I don't get what all the hub-bub is about.

As is my usual...I saw it while a sporting event was happening.

First, I believe I saw football. This time while waiting to see a movie (Gran Torino...review upcoming), I saw a college basketball game this time. The ONLY difference I saw was that you could read the ESPN bottom line easier....big-fuck-deal right? And with the widescreen I saw it on, you could see more of the basketball court, but that's NOT where the action was at. So, in effect, the wider screen acted more as n attention from the game distraction.

Perhaps if I watched an action-packed movie, I'd feel differently. I have yet to see baseball in HDtv...and the sports junkies say that and hockey are where the HD really shines.

All I can say is, until cable/satellite prices and the tv's themselves come down...I see no compelling reason to make a switch to HDtv anytime soon.

I will be sure to go to this particular movie theater to see a show again this summer when there is baseball on to see if it wow's me. Then I'll report back then on thoughts/reactions.

Salt, Sugar, Cheese, and/or Butter

What is: Every recipe/food featured on the Food Network has at least 3 of these 4 ingredients in it.

I love Food Network, but damn it's a wonder America is getting to be a lot of obese fucks.

Too much sodium-n-cheese.

The Nadya Suleman "issue"

This woman who purposefully had 8 freaking children, who has no money to speak of, who willfully did this act, should be forced to have her uterus outright removed...and all of her kids be revoked from her, and put into a child witness protection program. There is no reason and no excuse this kind of baloney.

Moreover, there is a compelling state interest to ensure the children receive proper health care and educational opportunities. Otherwise, who is to say these nitwit kids won't grow up to be redneck, bible-thumping, racist and homophobic bigots who amount to a hill of beans.

You might be a douchebag if...

you're at President Obama's first speech to Congress and you spend your time "Twittering."

This social-networking bullshit has gone just too far. We didn't send you there to "Twitter" fuck nuts...we sent you there to get shit done and listen to the President.

...the Rest of the Story

Godspeed to the longtime radio commentator Paul Harvey who died earlier today.

The man was a great commentator, like him or not.

Foster's fundamentals

Tonight, I attended the NBA game: Indiana Pacers versus (my fave team) the Boston Celtics.

The game, in my eyes was dominated by one man (well, except the Cetics' Ray Allen who single-handedly kept them inthe game and allowed my team to win)...Jeff Foster.

For any casual NBA fan, you're probably saying, "Jeff, who?"

Foster has been around for over 10 years, first coming up with the Utah Jazz in the late 90s, but his game hasn't chabged much. This is not meant as a slam, it's meant as a compliment.

He's an under-sized big man who doesn't light up the stat sheet with gawdy numbers. He IS, however, an above average role player who can be counted on to go out and bust his ass.

I'd call him: the un-agitator agitator. He doesn't really get under the oppoenets skin too much. He just plays hustle defense, can hit a mid-range shot (something sorely missing more and more in the Association), get hustle and some cheap rebounds, go after loose balls, and play those old wiley veteran tricks.

He's a solid player I'd love to have on my bench.

One more reason to dislike alcohol consumption

Number 4,398: It/Drinking causes the behavior of preppy-wannabe asshats to act like even bigger, preppy-wannabe asshats-n-douchebags!

Steve Kerr is a giant moron

Terry Porter was brought into coach the Phoenix Suns this year after they continually were bounced in early rounds of the NBA Playoffs because they played zero defense.

Porter demanded, and preached defense. So, what did Kerr do when players whined and bitched like the spoiled brats they are?....Kerr fired Porter and didn't back him.

Porter was shafted, was given a very raw deal, I'm glad that at least he will get ALL his money. Alvin Gentry is now the coach of the Suns, and they've gone back to their no defense way, which will assure them another bouncing from the playoffs early.

Gentry has proven jack shit in the NBA, and this was ultimately a huge mistake long-term.

A Sox fan who now feels bad for A-Rod

A-Rod is, and has never been, liked by his baseball bretheren. He has a tendency to care too much what others think, he's often too scripted, he always tries to say exactly the right thing.

As a Red Sox fan, I generally loathed A-Rod. But, baseball's players have managed to do the unthinkable, I now feel sorry for the guy.

Sure, it think it's clear he did the steroids. He probably is STILL doing them.

But, I can't stand these baseball asshat union buttboys who continued to sit idly by and watch baseball destroy itself. I really have a distaste for whoever the four players are that clearly threw A-Rod under the bus and singled him out through the list of 104 names of players popped for a failed test.

A-Rod's the only one who has been fingered, and it is this way because his union turned the guns on him because they didn't like him.

As a baseball junkie, I am saddened by the steroids. But, I'm just revolted by the other players sat there with their thumb up their ass doing nothing while they watched others cheat. I have no sympathy for them, and I consider them just as guilty as those who did the steroids.

I'm especially talking to you Tom Glavine.

The number is 3

Three simple notes on the state of our economy as a whole:

1. Cutting police officers and/or fire fighting personnel, is not an acceptable way for states/towns/communities to save cash.

2. Neither is cutting school budgets.

3. If your a company that has a sponsorship for a sports arena, take a loss by cutting that contract and save a blue-collar.

My poblem with the WPT

**Warning - As I am sleep-deprived, this is a pretty fucking mean rant, read at your own peril***

WPT = World Poker Tour/Tournament

Poker on tv has become a sensation in recent years and I never understood the fun part of it. But, this is what it hath wrought...

On my local Comcast Sports channel are four, fat, white trash dumb-fucks who clearly think they are as smart as a rocket scientist vying for a spot in NASA's elite astronauts club.

My problems with this "sport" are:

1. That while it may spurn learning some simple math arithmetic, it's largely a simple game to master. Who is truly vie in the top cream o' da crop as they say, say it's more about watching social behaviors than just playing simple math odds.

2. It gives fat white trash Americans a legitimate excuse to sit on their ass and think their going to hit the grad-fuck-lottery instead of working at a real job.

So, if you sit on your fat, lazy, doughy-white ass and wax poetic about how one day you'll win it big by taking down "a big score"...do us all a favor, pull out that rifle you surely must be a sportin'...and kill yourself. At least it's give some other American a reason to keep their real job.

Gammons equals Couric

Today's big sports story is the bust of Alex Rodriguez. And after hearing the most-recent interview A-Rod did with ESPN's Peter Gammons, here are a few thoughts:

1. Legally, A-Rod got totally screwed here. Whomever leaked his name to the reporter who originally broke the story, broke the law. No if's, and's or but's about it. Those records were to be confidential and the blood was supposed to have been destroyed after the results came in.

2. A-Rod was also screwed by the Players Association (the Union) because the people the baseball players elected to their top position, purposefully and willingly kept those records instead of destroying as they were legally allowed to do by the agreement they made with MLB.

3. Gammons again shows what a soft-baller he is. This interview was just like Couric's, and Gammons really didn't ask any serious or tough questions.

4. No doubt, one or more of my Red Sox has done and/or is doing some type of banned substance.

"There's never an egg timer when you need one."

Good liberal movie buffs will recognize that as a line spoken by actor John Mahoney from "The American President," the Aaron Sorkin liberal love movie.

This is slightly old news, but...marriage just seems to destroy everything in it's path. Conservatives are so stupid...if they allowed gay marriage this (divorce) is exactly what would be happening more and more:

After nearly two decades together as a lesbian couple, Hillary and Julie Goodridge got hitched in May of 2004. This came because of their landmark lawsuit, which famously persuaded the state Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts to make it the first state to recognize same-sex marriage back in 2003.

After announcing they were separating back in 2006, it has become official: Last week, they became one of 168 couples to file for divorce in Suffolk County in January.

Thus, my quote to title this post: There's never an egg timer available when you need to measure the expediency of a divorce after a marriage.

Now THAT was entertaining

After a spat of recent SuperBowl blow-outs...we've had some good games in recent years. Last nights' was pretty darn good...the better team won, but I will say that they were asking to get beat (and perhaps should have been).

An interesting language definition

"One in 5 men at risk of drinking problem" is the headline.

The query I would have is simple: Who/What defines a "drinking problem"?

Being a person who supports the legalization of pot, and heavy restrictions on drinking alcohol...this definition is important to consider.

I think more than 1 in 5 have a "problem," but that's me.

Who know NJ had it in em?

According to this story: "High school seniors would be taught how to write a check, manage credit card debt and obtain a mortgage under a bill advanced in the New Jersey Senate."

This is a brilliant idea, and one that should be done nationwide. With so many people in debt up to their eyeballs, and with shady marketers all around...the best defense is simple...it's education.

Bravo to NJ, I hope this passes and is signed into law.

Cellphone carriers can suck it!

In light of the upcoming Inauguration of Barack Obama to the Presidency, apparently, the cell phone companies are on their knees begging:

As the NYT reports: "The largest cellphone carriers, fearful that a communicative citizenry will overwhelm their networks, have taken the unusual step of asking people to limit their phone calls and to delay sending photos. The carriers are also spending millions of dollars to temporarily and substantially upgrade their networks in Washington."

SO....after gouging American consumers for year with shitty plans and shitty networks, and despite the still SHITTY service more American's get from their cellphones (see what people in Asia are doing with their phones routinely, and you'd be ill)...they want us to take it easy on them?

Fuck you cellphone bitches!

A conundrum - of sorts

So, the question of the day is this...



...is this woman naked on a beach or not?

I vote not naked. *mutters* Damn towel.

Andrew Jamison is a fucking moron

Andrew Jamison said, "God was certainly looking out for all of us."

Just who is this Andrew fella?

Well, golly gee, he's one of the survivors aboard U.S. Airways Flight 1549 that landed smoothly in the Hudson River due to the brilliant job of the pilot of the plane.

Why is Andrew a fucking idiot? Simple. "God" was certainly looking out for you Andrew...especially when he directed those freaking geese directly into not just one, but BOTH of the plane's engines.

Yeah, he was certainly looking out for ya...good call Andrew. Good call. *a jaunty two thumbs up*

Fucking religious whack-job. This is what's wrong with this country...you people are so myopic.

Tek & the Sox

My Boston Red Sox have only had three team captains since 1923...it's a very high honor on this team to be given the title of captain.

On December 24, 2004, Jason Varitek (nicknamed "Tek") was named that third captain in Red Sox history and given a generous 4-year deal at $10 million per year, with the help of his longtime and notorious agent Scott Boras.

After this past 2008 season was over, Tek became a free agent in baseball. However, in baseball, there is this process called salary arbitration, and the management decided to offer Tek arbitration. This meant (since players rarely lose arbitration cases, and often get a raise) Tek would have been guaranteed $11 million for the next baseball season.

Instead of taking the free $11 million, with the advice of Boras, Tek turned down the offer and became a complete free agent. Again, however, there is a catch. By offering him arbitration, the Sox were assured they would get the first-round pick in next year's draft from any team that signed Tek to a deal.

Recently, draft picks have become highly valued in baseball as a way for teams to stockpile young, cheap talent...and teams are now loathed to voluntarily give up this first round pick for signing a 36 year old catcher who is well past his prime, and on the back 4 (not even 9) of his career.

It now appears Tek has screwed himself by following Boras' advice, as no team was willing to sign him once they had to give up that first-round pick. With no where else to go, the principal Owner and CEO of the Sox, John Henry, is flying down to meet one-on-one with Tek without Boras.

I hope the Sox make Tek eat a deal for $5 million for one year, or a two-year deal for somewhere around $12 million.

Tek played the free agent game, and he lost. If he had won and there had been several teams bidding for his services, you can be DAMN sure he'd make the Sox pay up full price (they did in that 2004 deal when virtually no one was chasing Tek).

When you lose, you have to eat some money. If my Sox bend over and give him $10 million for a year...I will be disgusted.

Mass Transit

After spending all day in the hospital with an unexpected illness, I can say one thing about the concept of mass transit...

A. I support the idea.

B. During rush hour, however, mass transit is a bunch of BS.

I've been to four major cities in the past 5-6 years, all with mass transit systems, and they all suffer from this problem.

People drive their cars because even in a traffic jam, you can control your own climate, your listening enjoyment, have access to a free food smorgasbord, have a nice cushy seat, not smell someone elses' body odor, and perhaps more importantly - your overall comfort factor.

In every major cuty during rush hour, the metro operator comes across telling those stuck standing in the middle to smash further into the car to make it as full as a tin can of sardines.

The inherent problem with this is three-fold:

1. More people are likely to get injured in some type of de-railment or accident.

2. It make it infinitely harder to then GET OUT of the car at your stop before the very same operator closes the door on your ass.

3. Finally, and perhaps my biggest problem, is my lack of great balance. I nearly toppled over today in a full subway car, which not only would have been embarrassing as hell, but it could have possibly injured some unsuspecting poor jackass who was in the way of my fat ass on it's way down.

My overall point, there HAS GOT to be a better way to handle these cars during rush hour, so more people can sit.

Little Known Fact

Way back when the blockbuster "E.T." was being filmed, the filmmakers wanted E.T. to eat M&Ms, but were denied by the Mars company.

Therefore, they turned to Reese's Pieces, which then became a sensation and began flying off store shelves into the homes of America.

Mars certainly f-ed that one!

As Seen...

...on my travels during the holiday season.

So, I sit in my seat on the airplane and I'm watching people walk by in the center, waiting for them to choose their seat already.

Suddenly, I see this:



If you look on the floor of the plane in this little picture I snapped with my cellphone, you can clearly see what caused me to snicker and still be slightly appalled.

Yes, indeed. The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) doesn't let people on airplanes with more and 1 ounce of hand lotion, HOWEVER...you CAN apparently bring freaking arrows on board!!

This lady literally had a quiver, with 3 arrows in it. I was lucky in that she sat fairly close to me, so I was able to snap this picture. As it took me a few minutes to get over my shock and disgust and laughter all at once.

To paraphrase Dubya, "You're doin' a heckuvah job TSA!"

As a Big Ten alumn...

...uh, yeah. I STILL hope Ohio State gets pounded HARD CORE tonight. Fuck you OSU!!!!!

Jags

Out here in the New England area of the country, we don't generally give a whit about college sports. However, occasionally something comes a stumbling down the line and makes us perk up our ears in interest.

The hot topic today has been the tale of the Boston College football coach (or former, depending on who you ask) Jeff Jagodzinski. They call him "Jags" out here.

He came to BC 2 years ago, and apparently the Athletic Director of BC, Gene DeFilippo, had to "go to bat" for Jags to get the board to support bringing him on.

Well, shit has hit the fan when Jags wanted to go interview for the Jets coaching position, which he is 90% likely NOT to even get. Now, BC has their feathers all in a kerfuffle about this development, and they are poised to fire Jags' ass upon entry into that interview.

There has been no solid proof that BC put language IN WRITING that Jags couldn't go seeking an NFL job when he was hired, it apparently was a "gentleman's agreement" between Jags and DeFilippo.

Sorry, BC, you have no legs to stand your table on here. If it's not in writing, it doesn't matter. I despise Nick Saban, Bobby Petrino for the shit they've pulled in recent years, but they had the legal right to do so if there is not language in the contract stating as such.

BC is making a huge mistake thinking their stupid little football program means anything in the grand scheme of things. Ya'll got lucky with Matt Ryan and what he did for your program, so enjoy it while it lasts.

My alma mater, Purdue, got very lucky by snagging Drew Brees from Texas and they scored huge with him. Since he's left the program has taken a dive, but we are at least on the Big Ten map.

Key sentences from the ESPN story: "Jagodzinski has three years left on his contract. Were BC to fire him, sources said, the university would be on the hook for the remainder of his salary."

This tells me for sure, this was not in writing in the contract. Lesson learned Gene. Next time, get it in writing, or don't bother whining about your milk being spilled.