An Epiphany, of sorts

It has finally entered my mind's hemisphere consciously...perhaps it had before and I forgot it, but this thought now strikes me:

I have been on the coping train for over 30 years. I have an illness that is chronic in some respects, an illness for which I am not responsible for giving thyself. It was a free perk of my livelihood. Eventually, there will be some medical things done to address this situation, as I have only gotten sicker as the years have rolled on by.

There were times when, much younger, I contemplating ending this life. But, even then I endured, saying that things almost had to get better. And, they did. I had a lovely 8-10 year run where things went well for me with this condition that made it something I hardly thought about.

But, as with gravity, what goes up, must surely come down...and it's come down in a big way. Despite the good period I had, there were still things that needed addressing. Other things unrelated to this illness also stressed my endurance.

This is NOT intended to be a pity parade. I have been extremely lucky in many ways, but it has started to enter my mind that...well...this world is just no more for me.

The medical things being contemplated are taking their sweet time to come to fruition and I can only say, I've grown weary of the waiting game.

Grown weary because my body is really starting to fail me now, and while the physical manifestations are not sheer pain 24/7 (or even close too it), there has become a physical reality and an mixture of solid chronic dull pain, to discomfort, sometimes swinging into the real pain territory.

My brain, my psyche, has realized that I've been in coping mode for this long now...and one can only be in coping mode for so long before one starts to wish to cope no more.

I can say that I am reminded back to the early years and how it was then, and while I had the annoying little quirks/perks then, I don't recall having the pain as well. That was more of a mental hell, in more ways than one.

I'm not at the point of no return yet. I still have the fighting spirit in me enough to take this f-er head-on when it comes to the medical things that will be required to be done. I'm, in fact, eager to fight. However, my chance has not come.

And I am starting to begin to see the light at the end of a dark, long tunnel...and in this case...the light is a bad omen.

CNN - Continues to Dissappoint

CNN has seen their ratings plummet, but there are reasons why. One may be they can't take the heat.

I loved the show "D.L. Hughley Breaks the News". His show was interesting, different, and offered a different take/perspective on issues of the day.

It has been canceled, and I will miss the show.

The show didn't fit the normal mold, caused some stirring, some controversy...and I like that. Just because he's a comedian, didn't mean his opinions/views were any less valuable than a "journalists."

Indications are CNN has other plans for him and they are hanging onto him via his contract, but I hope MSNBC gets off their fat ass and hires him...though I'm sure they won't. MSNBC's weekend and late night programming is piss-poor and eternally shitty. Those documentaries about the prison system or whatever are canned and no one watches them...at least put on some talent 24/7 to cover the daily news (this is one thing FoxSnooze and CNN are doing right).

Part of the problem in America media today is the concept of not wanting to cause some waves...it's almost like a country group-think paralysis. I'd argue this is why media companies are tanking left and right. They have abandoned hard-hitting journalism and in-depth reporting and they have fallen into the trap of scooping themselves. By releasing breaking stories on their internet page before a paper or magazine comes out, they are cutting their own throat.

Case in point concerning the paralysis: Obama was criticized for being too dour and dark about the economy during press conferences and speeches. Then he went on CBS' "60 Minutes" and was laughing with Steve Kroft and he got bashed for taking it too lightly.

Bill Maher was fired off ABC in 2002 for speaking his mind. Whether you agreed or not with him at the time, (I did...as it does take courage to knowingly fly a plane into a building and have a firey death) he shouldn't have been. Censorship, see the previous post on Rep. Michele Bachmann, has NO place in this country. It's pathetic what has happened to us.

Me a reader? - Not so much

I am not a reader of books, that was the role of the other members of the family as I grew up...they all reader an insane amount of bookage. I just never got into it.

However, as a teacher, I have a few select favorite children's books that I read to my students every year. No matter what. Even if they already know the stories by heart, I just love reading and performing them that much.

One of them is the fantastic book by Maurice Sendak, "Where the Wild Things Are."

There is a movie being made based around/on the book, and when I heard this initially, I was skeptical and worried at what Hollywood would do to such a great story. But, a trailer has just been released for the first time that gives us a first glimpse of what the pictures/scenes will look like and I must say...they look very authentic and awesome, (except for one moment in the trailer (at a minute 20 seconds) where one of the "Wild Things" is running and it looks a bit tacky).

The trailer is mostly just some scenes and a glimpse at what the movie will look like aesthetically, with a tiny notion of a plot, but we know the plot in a sense...although it looks like Hollywood does their typical single mom fucking the random dude routine...blech. Betcha the damn Hollywood suits insisted on that angle.

I am buoyed and encouraged by this first look and look forward to seeing more detail later, as this doesn't open until October. I'm guessing they have recently begun post-production and just wanted to put something out there to create a buzz.

Let's hope that Spike Jonze does well here.

Yellin' @ da movies

I must say if you need one man to yell or say a good line really loudly in a motion picture production, no one does that better than Samuel L. Jackson.

Hmmmmm...

Just heard: An advertisement on the radio where they urge you to "pull out your major credit card" and call 1-800-Blow-Me2 (emphasis added).

Is there such a thing as a minor credit card?...really? How odd. I wonder what they'd do if you called wanting to pay with your minor credit card. Would they not accept your order?...I HIGHLY DOUBT IT!

Opposites Attract, eh?

There's an old saying or thought that when it comes to match-making, opposites attract.

I've always considered this to be total bullshit and I have NO idea where/when/how this myth got started.

However, as a new study illustrates, that old adage is, in fact...bullshit.

In my view, as a liberal-atheist American, I could NEVER (no matter how "hot" the woman) be attracted to some whack-job Christian Conservative who believes guns are cool, homosexuality is evil and you should love "The Jesus" and the bible.

EVER!!!!

I want to be with someone who challenges my views a bit and makes me think critically, sure...but not so insanely that I think they are a total whacko-crazy-ass bitch (*cough* Ann Coulter *cough*).

What may be true with magnets, isn't true with human behavior.

10 days - I'm tingly

Only 10 days left until Opening Day at the Fens...and the beginning of the 2009 Boston Red Sox Campaign for the World Series Title!!!!!!

I am SO stoked!!!!

Meanwhile, for those gamblers out yonder...let's play some over/under. This is where you get a number of X and you bet whether the player will get over that many X's or under. Here are the Vegas Over/Under Odds for the Red Sox in the 2009 Season (my bet would be in bold if I gambled):

PLAYER OVER/UNDERS

Home Runs
David Ortiz 32.5 - Under
Jason Bay 28.5 - Over

Batting Average
Dustin Pedroia .313 - Over

Doubles
Dustin Pedroia 40.5 - Under

RBI
Kevin Youkilis 102.5 - Over

Stolen Bases
Jacoby Ellsbury 49.5 - Over

Pitching Wins
Josh Beckett 14.5 - Over
Jon Lester 14.5 - Under
Daisuke Matsuzaka 14.5 - Under

Saves
Jonathan Papelbon 38.5 - Under

One of many problems with Corporate Americana

So, I bought this brand-new product a week ago. I immediately opened, and did the stupid registration thing online.

Had a problem, later...instead of calling, I sent an e-mail. Nearly a week later, no response from that e-mail. So, I called...

I had to answer all the questions I answered when I registered the thing: Name, Home, Phone, e-mail, serial #, etc...

This after a half hour wait, which is fine if YOU FIX MY PROBLEM after being on hold that long.

Nope, I was talking to some nitwit goober who had to "write a report," and then the next tier of support will contact me in the next business day. As IF I have time to wait for their bloody phone call ALL day home...clearly, I don't work or anything...

This after advertising on website that they have 24-hour tech support...W-R-O-N-G!! You have 24-hour drone support maybe.

Best part, I was talking to either someone in America who just happened to be an Indian working in an America-based tech support system, or I was speaking to someone in India. I think we all know the answer...

Quietly, Home Depot has been winning customers back after the bad Nardelli years where he fired all the experts and switched them to hourly stooges for the sake of "profit." How have they done it? Simple...they've brought back real customer service and experts who know their shit.

The HD revolution?

I do not have HDtv @ home. However, the few times I have seen it...I don't get what all the hub-bub is about.

As is my usual...I saw it while a sporting event was happening.

First, I believe I saw football. This time while waiting to see a movie (Gran Torino...review upcoming), I saw a college basketball game this time. The ONLY difference I saw was that you could read the ESPN bottom line easier....big-fuck-deal right? And with the widescreen I saw it on, you could see more of the basketball court, but that's NOT where the action was at. So, in effect, the wider screen acted more as n attention from the game distraction.

Perhaps if I watched an action-packed movie, I'd feel differently. I have yet to see baseball in HDtv...and the sports junkies say that and hockey are where the HD really shines.

All I can say is, until cable/satellite prices and the tv's themselves come down...I see no compelling reason to make a switch to HDtv anytime soon.

I will be sure to go to this particular movie theater to see a show again this summer when there is baseball on to see if it wow's me. Then I'll report back then on thoughts/reactions.

Salt, Sugar, Cheese, and/or Butter

What is: Every recipe/food featured on the Food Network has at least 3 of these 4 ingredients in it.

I love Food Network, but damn it's a wonder America is getting to be a lot of obese fucks.

Too much sodium-n-cheese.

The Nadya Suleman "issue"

This woman who purposefully had 8 freaking children, who has no money to speak of, who willfully did this act, should be forced to have her uterus outright removed...and all of her kids be revoked from her, and put into a child witness protection program. There is no reason and no excuse this kind of baloney.

Moreover, there is a compelling state interest to ensure the children receive proper health care and educational opportunities. Otherwise, who is to say these nitwit kids won't grow up to be redneck, bible-thumping, racist and homophobic bigots who amount to a hill of beans.

You might be a douchebag if...

you're at President Obama's first speech to Congress and you spend your time "Twittering."

This social-networking bullshit has gone just too far. We didn't send you there to "Twitter" fuck nuts...we sent you there to get shit done and listen to the President.